I’m Starting To Dive Into Buddhism

I’ve been studying Buddhism a lot lately. Reading, watching videos or having small talks with people. I was curious about it even back in high school when I first read a book about it, but I never really plunged into it before until late last month. It is hard to get used to the teachings and there are still so many opinions from others who feel their way is the “right” way of doing it. However, one thing for sure is to never hold anything negative with you.
Well, that is easier said than done. I say this because I was actually going to try to become friends with my ex-wife again, but it went like everyone said it would, which is something I shouldn’t be surprised about anymore. I’ve been trying to figure out what would be the best way to talk to her about it. Then she accused me of stealing our son’s phone. She said he lost it at my house a month ago and no one told me. I thought, “Well, maybe I can find it here and we can somewhat talk.” I couldn’t find the damn thing and when my kids came home they told me they were telling them how I stole it…and I how I used to hurt her.
A friend that knows us both well finally said the best thing about all of this. I had forgiven her, I’ve given her many chances to prove she cares for me as our children’s father, and at this point I have to understand that she isn’t a person that is for me. She never wanted to really be my wife and she certainly never saw me as a friend. Is this a bad thing? I used to think so, but I’m starting to see why it is not. I have my kids and she at least allows us to not fight in that. We both love them with all our hearts.
I had a good talk with my sons about what she was telling them. They reached out to me about it and I gave them the answers they needed. I didn’t have to point fingers at her or to try to blame anyone really. I kept it nice and simple for them. That is all I can, and the teaching in Buddhism helped me in that. It is nice to find a center and balance in the chaos of life and to help me find the beauty of it again. I have to realize that not everything can be perfect or go my way, but there are things I can control

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s