Now, if you are here to get some pointers on how to get back with your ex I’m sorry to say that isn’t what I’m going to talk about. This is more on how to deal with your divorce to help yourself and those around you. I’ve read a few blogs and articles on how to deal with it and what to do, but I can honestly say none of them really helped me out.
It’s Okay To Be Angry, But…
Whether you wanted the divorce or not you are going to be angry. I sure as hell was and when I realized there was nothing I could do to stop it that anger just built up. Being angry can be a good thing and bottling it up could make it worse, but the one thing you don’t want to be is destructive. I started destroying personal pictures of my ex-wife and I that I could never get back. Yeah, it felt good doing it at that second, but once I calmed down I Just felt stupid. I finally put together everything that I loved about her, put it in a box and put it somewhere where I couldn’t do any harm to it. You should honestly do the same thing. Good memories are good memories even if you see a ton of bad coming your way.
If You Have Kids
If you don’t you are lucky then. Well, sort of? My kids mean everything to me and for them to go through this and for my ex and I to have to split our time with them is a bit hard on all of us. Regardless of what happens between you and your spouse the one thing you should be there for is your children. This is going to hurt your kids enough, so don’t use them, don’t take it out on them because no matter what you are still both their parents.
Remember You Both Loved Each Other At One Point
Regardless of how it got here try to make the divorce as painless as possible. People seem to get the idea of “screwing over” the other person because they were hurt in some way. It would just be best to make things fair for both of you, so you can move on with your lives. Unless they did something illegal or tried to physically harm you there isn’t any reason why you should just try not to move on happily.
Trying To Be Friends Can Sometimes Work
I know a few people that are really good friends with their ex and they somehow get everything to work out. I would suggest this because it could bring you peace of mind for your sake and if you have kids even better. However, sometimes it might not work out, like with me. I am still madly in love with my ex. I was with her for close to fifteen years and had three kids with her. When I found out she fell out of love with me years ago, that the sex was just sex and that she was already moving on to another man I was heartbroken. I sadly can’t be her friend and I would suggest you do the same if you are still in love with your ex. I’m not talking we will always love each other stuff. If you still want to be with them and they don’t want to be with you, you should keep your distance.
Honestly, in most cases you are going to break some of these. Try to do the best you can to bring the damage of this to a minimum. Breathe. Think things over and remember this isn’t the end. You will move on and you can be happy again.