a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.
You know, for years I’m not sure I believed in soulmates. The idea of it was kind of silly, but I’ve been wrong about a lot of things in my life. This past year my whole outlook is different. I’ve become something that I never thought I would be. I’m a changed man and I have to say I love the new me. I love him and what he is doing with his children, but it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows either.
I consider my ex-wife as a soulmate, but she never did for me. When she left me I felt abandoned and what it has done our children is hard to forgive. However, as I have said countless times I still love her with all my heart. I’ve seen her at her worst. I have lost a lot of respect for her as a person and mother, but even after all of this I still love her. Why though?
I have pondered that thought for about a month now. I realized that she was MY soulmate, but I wasn’t hers. The second things went towards the worst for me she stopped loving me on the spot and stayed for the kids. She admitted this and I can’t really fault her on it. That is just how she felt. She put up a lot of excuses on the why, but it was just clear that she never truly loved me. It doesn’t really say anything bad or good about either us. I just loved her and she didn’t for me.
But I’ve been thinking about if I can have more than one soulmate. I want to find someone out there that I consider a life partner, but I think people have always looked at it the wrong way. People say they want to find the person that loves everything they love and will treat them like a prince or princess. That isn’t what I want. I want someone to look at me at my worst, at my weakest moments because we all have those. Everyone has these moments throughout their lives. We are humans. We are frail and sometimes we fall.
I want someone to look at me during these moments and still embrace me. Still love me because they know who I really am and want to fight these battles with me. I want to fight their battles as well if they will let me. This is what I want more than ever. I don’t want to take care of someone and I don’t need them to take care of me, but I do want a partner in this life.
My ex threatens me, her boyfriend threatens me and they may very well win. She may take my kids away, take all the money she can and I know she wants to ruin my life. It doesn’t matter though. I won’t stop loving my kids. I’ll do whatever it takes to be with them, to love them, to be by their sides. And I’ll never give up on this walk in life. I almost did once and I’m thankful every day that I didn’t go through with it.