Dealing With A Vindictive Soul Mate And Moving On

Soulmate:

a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.

You know, for years I’m not sure I believed in soulmates. The idea of it was kind of silly, but I’ve been wrong about a lot of things in my life. This past year my whole outlook is different. I’ve become something that I never thought I would be. I’m a changed man and I have to say I love the new me. I love him and what he is doing with his children, but it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows either.

I consider my ex-wife as a soulmate, but she never did for me. When she left me I felt abandoned and what it has done our children is hard to forgive. However, as I have said countless times I still love her with all my heart. I’ve seen her at her worst. I have lost a lot of respect for her as a person and mother, but even after all of this I still love her. Why though?

I have pondered that thought for about a month now. I realized that she was MY soulmate, but I wasn’t hers. The second things went towards the worst for me she stopped loving me on the spot and stayed for the kids. She admitted this and I can’t really fault her on it. That is just how she felt. She put up a lot of excuses on the why, but it was just clear that she never truly loved me. It doesn’t really say anything bad or good about either us. I just loved her and she didn’t for me.

But I’ve been thinking about if I can have more than one soulmate. I want to find someone out there that I consider a life partner, but I think people have always looked at it the wrong way. People say they want to find the person that loves everything they love and will treat them like a prince or princess. That isn’t what I want. I want someone to look at me at my worst, at my weakest moments because we all have those. Everyone has these moments throughout their lives. We are humans. We are frail and sometimes we fall.

I want someone to look at me during these moments and still embrace me. Still love me because they know who I really am and want to fight these battles with me. I want to fight their battles as well if they will let me. This is what I want more than ever. I don’t want to take care of someone and I don’t need them to take care of me, but I do want a partner in this life.

My ex threatens me, her boyfriend threatens me and they may very well win. She may take my kids away, take all the money she can and I know she wants to ruin my life. It doesn’t matter though. I won’t stop loving my kids. I’ll do whatever it takes to be with them, to love them, to be by their sides. And I’ll never give up on this walk in life. I almost did once and I’m thankful every day that I didn’t go through with it.

6 thoughts on “Dealing With A Vindictive Soul Mate And Moving On

  1. Good for you. I don’t want how to tell you to run this blog but I would stop with the post about her, perhaps post about you setting goals for yourself and striving to achieve them. It will only make you think about her more and get upset. Focus on you and your boys, seek support from friends and family and know that you will get through this, I know you will.

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  2. No offense, I’ve read your posts on reddit and your wife is a horrible human being and you need to stop with all these I love her posts. Expose what she did to everyone, tell your boys what she did when they’re older and do not ever contact her again. You need to set a strong example and stop waiting for her while she’s clearly physically involved with another man. Please visit the red pill subreddit, it will help you get out of this mess, I don’t agree with all of their philosophy but it helped me and it will help you too. Same situation too, wife cheated and left.

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    1. Yes, her cheating on me and what her and boyfriend have done is beyond wrong. However, she is not a horrible human being. She dealt with a man who had PTSD for years and while she didn’t love me during those times she did stay with me for the kids who needed someone that was stable in their life. She is overall an awesome mother and I would never turn my kids or use them like a weapon like her boyfriend did to me. Granted, I’m not going to lie to them, but they love her and she loves them. I can’t help the fact that I love this woman and I probably always will, but I am finally moving on. I’ve heard of that subreddit and I may dive into it one day if I ever have the time.

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  3. Sorry she is a horrible human being no matter how you try to frame it. Just because someone does something good in the past and do horrible things in the future doesn’t mean they’re good. No dive into it now. It not will only help you with relationships. Please do it for your own mental health. Make a thread on married red pill, do something. I was in same exact position as you. It will help you with your mental health and future relationships, being a good father, life in general.

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    1. Also find your anger, anger is very good in these situations. Visit the surviving infidelity subreddit/website, start hitting the gym and making yourself look attractive. Women do not like men who cry and wait for them what you’re doing is the “Pick me dance” which never works and is a term dubbed by survivinginfidelity.com Block her number and do not cry or tell her you love her ever again. You’re going to be ok but not if you do not start acting now. Visit the subreddit marriedredpill, many men have gone what you have gone through there and have transformed their life.

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      1. Lost 50 pounds this year and I’m just focusing on myself and kids right now. I can’t block her number because I have three children with her. I’m going to be civil with her and do everything I can to make it work for our kids, that is it. I have already looked through the Reddit and yes, there is some good info in there. However, the other half has a bunch of douche bags and I’m not looking to be an “alpha” male or an any type of label. I’m going to be me. I’m going to work on myself and then find a good woman who wants to be as healthy as I am.

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